Emotional Fitness for Athletes: Self-Worth Beyond the Finish Line

Hello and welcome to the Athletes Compass podcast where we navigate training, fitness and health for everyday athletes. We are thrilled to welcome Pete Armstrong to the podcast, a certified trauma informed coach, TEDx speaker and passionate advocate for emotional fitness. Drawing from his own personal journey of self discovery, Pete, a longtime cyclist and athlete.

now empowers high achieving men, especially fathers, to cultivate radical self-confidence, deepen their relationships, and lead lives rooted in purpose and authenticity. While Pete typically works with men, his work in mental health applies to everyday athletes. Since Mariana is on vacation without a good internet connection, and since it's Men's Health Month, we decided to do an episode with Paul, Pete, and me. Pete, welcome to the Athletes Compass podcast. Thank you very much.

Happy to be here. Let's get into it. First of all, tell us your story as an endurance athlete. As an endurance athlete, I would say I came to become an endurance athlete, specifically cycling. About 15 years ago, maybe 16 years ago, I did the Trek 100, which is a Mac fund ⁓ bike fundraiser event. And I was doing it on my mountain bike with

my girlfriend at the time. And I just remember all these guys on road bikes who were not as good shape as I was at that time. And I used to play basketball. That was my main sport. Then I was like, I was getting like angry. I'm like, how are they faster than me? I, ⁓ crazy and kind of serendipitously about a year later, I met a guy named Andy Crater and Andy Crater was, ⁓

professional cyclist and but then he kind of was retired and he got me into cycling. I said, you know, I'm going to buy a road bike and then he told me he was a professional cyclist and I was like, what's that? You know, like I knew about Lance Armstrong obviously but being a a basketball player and traditional sports, ball sports, I knew nothing about endurance sports. We just didn't do that in Milwaukee and ⁓ he got me a bike and ⁓ I was hooked. I just it became hooked and I ⁓

I ended up tearing my ACL playing basketball around the same time that I got that bike. And I think in many ways, because I tore my ACL, I got away from basketball and then I got into cycling because I didn't want to re-injure my repaired ACL. I love the parallels. I'm just thinking about my, yeah, my own ACL rupture and, yeah, they're not fun. And, but thank goodness we've got the endurance support to, to be there. So Pete, where did you start with understanding?

Like where did you develop your passion for this area? And in many ways I would say that yes, now I'm a mental fitness, emotional fitness expert, but really I've been working on these things in some way, or form my entire life. And that is because the root of it all, sadly, is that I was always the fun guy. I was the guy that got people together. I hosted parties. I bring other friends together. And, but really at the

I was always actually really sad and lonely and anxious and ashamed and stuff of that nature and So I always wanted to help people have to be happy So it's always like it's like Robin Williams and these types of people right like They know I know what it's like to not be happy and so when I would see somebody who's down I Would just love to bring my smile make them laugh. You know even at the expense of my own

And I started getting panic attacks. I didn't know what they were at first, right? I just was like, what is going on? I also started getting migraines, ocular migraines. And so I decided to go get therapy. I was also struggling with some addiction things and I decided to go get therapy. I was like, I can't keep doing life this way. ⁓ And that's when I learned that I had anxiety and depression.

childhood trauma, addiction, like all these things. I didn't know, Prof, that I just thought that's what life was like. You know what I mean? And um...

That was the beginning of it all. And then I started reading books, right? Right, I reading books about self-help and personal development. But I would say really what...

They also teach you about how there's something, maybe you guys have heard of the inner critic. Are familiar with the inner critic in your mind? Tell us what it is. So the inner critic is basically this mechanism in your mind that really in childhood was developed, every human has it by the way, the inner critic is basically designed to keep you safe, emotional safety for the most part. ⁓

But it's what kind of drives people, especially like athletes for example, to really perform at a high level. The inner critic can be really good at getting you results. Okay? So it can say, you're not good enough, you're not good enough, you need to go harder, you need to go harder. Because in many ways, it's trying to help you feel better about yourself.

Okay, so it's this protective mechanism that's based on your subconscious beliefs in many ways. Right, so if you, for example, just make it simple, if I'm not a high performing athlete, who am I? I'm nobody. Let's just use that as a belief, right? Well guess what, the inner critic's gonna be like, well you better, you better, right? You need to achieve X percentage, you need to get this PR, need to whatever.

And it is good at getting results. If you want to, in my opinion, it's just my opinion, if you've watched the Lance documentaries and the Michael Jordan documentaries, okay, those guys, my best guess, they have a very strong inner critic. It's helped them achieve absolutely the best of the best in their given sport.

But there's a consequence for that.

because that's a heavy burden to basically always be listening to that inner critic. It can get you results, but it's going to get in the way of your personal well-being, and it's going to get in the way of your relationships. And what I learned in positive intelligence, they call it the judge. And the judge is this inner, same thing, it's basically the same thing as inner critic, very similar. The judge judges yourself.

Right? You're not good enough. You're not worthy enough. You know, whatever. It judges other people. Right? You can judge other people because you're like, it'll help you feel better about yourself or you can judge other people in many ways to protect yourself. But the judge also judges your circumstances. Like, my life's terrible. ⁓ a comparison. All those kind of things. When I learned about the judge, guys, that there's this inner construct in my mind,

that it's actually not me talking. Because I always believed for long time that I wasn't good enough. I believed it. So when I heard like, you know, Peter, you're not a good man, or you're not a good father, or you're not a good friend, or you're not smart enough, I believed that to be true.

When I learned about the judge, the judge says I'm not a good person.

the judge says you're not good enough. That changed my life. The other thing though that positive intelligence helped me with is empathy. To empathize with yourself. It taught you the power of, they call it the power, the power to empathize.

But what they did is they actually put you through a little ⁓ visualization and an entire training for a week on how to empathize with yourself.

Yeah. Radically changed my life. And I shared this, maybe you heard it, Prof, in my TEDx talk, but I went through that program and I could not empathize with myself. That's how far gone you can say, or how long I've been. I was like 40 years old, by the way, when I went through this program. I could not empathize with myself, meaning I couldn't acknowledge what it was like being me and all the difficulty I had, know, breakups and divorces and addictions.

and pain, I couldn't fully empathize with this little boy and I'll show this to you guys, but I remember using this picture. This is me, my sister, my dad, brother, but that little boy, right? He was like nine years old at the time or something. I couldn't look at him and be like, and feel his pain. I couldn't, which is kind of sad, right? But then I saw a picture of my son, close up picture, and he looked just like me.

And I was like, my God, if my son felt the same way I felt, I would do everything in my power to help him feel better about himself. That's when it clicked. I was like, wow, I would do that for somebody I love. And I realized I didn't love myself. Like that I didn't care about myself like I do my children. And that's when it clicked and I started empathizing with myself and that it's been hard being me.

When I realized that other men were even more successful than me, were struggling with these things in silence, but then they started changing because of empathy and the judge and doing these compassion-based mental fitness exercises, I was like, more men need to know about this. Yeah. Well, you you're in luck because I think you're...

You're definitely talking to the right audience. I'm actually looking at the demographics of the Athletica platform and for the, you know, Athletica users that are following the podcast, which is, you know, it's, think we're, it looks like, it looks like about 80 % for whatever reason, I guess, in, ⁓ in, in sport, at least at this present day, it's pretty high. And I would also say that the people that are driven to programs like Athletica, which optimize your performance, right. ⁓

You know, they, you know, it's kind of feeding, feeding the ego ultimately. I think there's a lot of people that can probably relate to a lot of things that you're saying, Pete. I know I certainly can. I think it's also really interesting when you're, you know, you were chatting there and a lot of that. I think that inner critic globally, ⁓ really, you know, it, it really pushes the no pain, no gain philosophy in training. Right. And you mentioned like the Lance Armstrong.

Michael Jordan sort of stories, right? These guys, they're gonna work the hardest, right? And do anything that it takes to get up there. Of course they have the talent. Now, not everyone has ⁓ the ability to adapt to all those sorts of things. overtraining is rampant. ⁓ Yeah, I'm not sure where I'm going with it all, but it's like, it's just, I kind of go back.

to really the beginning, like where does that, I guess it starts in childhood, ultimately, right? Almost Adlerian sort of psychology and in theory in some way where we have, you know, a lot of us have challenges in childhood and ⁓ that kind of continues on in terms of a psychology to present day. And ⁓ like you said, probably my wife's a teacher, always talks about empathy, tries to teach empathy. So it's like, it's how do you

Yeah, how do you develop that when maybe you haven't had that all your life? And maybe that's a really good next question for you, Pete. How did you start to develop your own empathy? It was through Mental Fitness, the Positive Intelligence Program. Because I realized...

There has to be a why. I firmly have to leave a why. Like Simon Sinek, for example, start with why. I put a lot of men through that program purpose. It's like men are struggling with fulfillment or purpose. I put them through start with why with Simon Sinek. he's like, you people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. every human. And Pete, Pete. Yeah, the listener here is going to know that because that's that's really what Athletica is all about. That's why Athletica was built is like to to answer that why.

the fitness and health and longevity. And we just actually went through in a recent episode, our key pillars. And we went through all the different ones like strength and endurance and HIIT training and nutrition. And the last one that Paul actually ended on was mental health. this is really, yeah, that's the key pillar. And again, so why it's so important for you to be here. So it's like, yeah, people know that why.

There's a lot of things I want to share here though, Prof. like, Paul and I were kind of emailing back and forth. It's almost like mental health is not the right word. It's not the right... It's almost like when we talk about mental health, honestly, guys, I feel like it's a misnomer. Because the majority of your mental health struggles or what mental health is, is actually emotions. Because if you think about when you say, I'm stressed, that in many ways, like I talk to guys and...

One thing I teach men with is I say emotional fitness and then you call it emotional intelligence, you call it emotional literacy, whatever you want to call it, emotional awareness, right? I like fitness because I'm a fitness guy and men understand like physical fitness and it sounds cool then like talking about your emotions. Let's call it emotional fitness. Something has to change, right? Because if you think about stress, for example, that often gets tied to mental health. Like, right? A person who's stressed or overwhelmed.

their mental health is not the best. But if you unpack what is stress, there's physiological stress, right? We know that. But the other stress, like right, this emotional stress, happiness extends time to exhaustion. yeah. Happiness extends time to exhaustion. Tim Noakes, he always says that fatigue is an emotion.

Right? So if you're happier, you're going to be like, again, that's going to extend time to exhaustion because yeah. So because allostatic load. So the body doesn't know, right? Like one of the books, you know, my approach, know, like this stuff, the body keeps us where guys, right? And that means emotional stress and physical stress. And it's my understanding, maybe probably a better understanding of this than me, but like it's my understanding that the body doesn't know the difference between like emotional stress and physical stress.

Stress is stress. It's all hitting in these various different afferents to the mind ultimately. It's all accumulative. People on this podcast, know stress because they perform it in their training every day. I'm sure there's one or two that are listening that know at the end of a big, big hit out over the weekend or whatever, big long ride.

big long run, they'll be feeling a little bit more irritable at the end of the day when they're putting dinner together with their family, etc. Right? So yeah. But I look at it like this. if you can read, so this is what I'm getting at. This is emotional fitness. If you can reduce your fear, reduce your sadness, reduce your anger.

Now you build the space to be more present and happy, which allows you greater, this is what David Spindler is getting at, and the other guy you referenced, right? Now you have this energy source that can be used for better, higher performance. ⁓ And because also, if you look at the leading sleep experts in the world, Matthew Walker. yeah, why we sleep. Yeah, so Matthew Walker.

Listen, he'll tell you two things. The top two things he always tells people is like, first, stop worrying about sleep. Because guess what that is? It's fear. It's anxiety. And what does that do to your nervous system? It puts you into sympathetic. The second thing he says is manage your stress and anxiety during the day. And again, you, all this stuff matters, in my opinion, greatly if you want to

form at a higher level for an athlete. Pete, you had talked about how do we reduce fear, sadness, anger, or that's if we can do that, that will build the space to be more present. Can you talk more about that? How do we do that? Is that a matter of self empathy and self compassion?

Yeah, I would say those are like the two skills, we'll call them, that are gonna make the most bang for buck. But for most people, excuse me, the first step is awareness. mean, and honestly, a lot of people, even myself for a very long time, like, for example, a lot of people aren't aware that, including especially men, we often identify with anger. Like that's...

You know, men are known to be angry, know, fathers, whatever. It's kind of an easy emotion. And as a matter of fact, often it's a secondary emotion. And so what that means is that really what's driving anger often is actually fear. But most people don't realize they're not aware that actually they're afraid of something. And yet anger comes out. And so

Really, if you want to reduce your fear and your anxiety, your fear, anxiety, your anger, your sadness, your loneliness, which is called stress, you have to become aware of how you're feeling. Like what are the actual emotions? So really the first step is awareness. Some people call this emotional literacy. And so that's where I would say, and the cool thing is there's a scientist

a world renowned scientist, neuroscientist at that. So if you really like science, this guy's name is Richie Davidson. And he's here at UW, I'm in Madison, Wisconsin. And he's done work with the Dalai Lama, and he's really one of the best in the business. And he found that well-being is a skill. And so let's just call happiness for a second. But in many ways you can be happier

through skills and skills like self-empathy and self-compassion, you can actually learn how to not be so stressed out in time. And the how to that ⁓ is through, everyone hears this, everyone knows this, but meditation, obviously exercise. But what he found is self-compassion.

Richie Davidson found that self-compassion actually helps you regulate emotions. So like if you can regulate your emotions, if you can have self-compassion, like honor your sadness, honor that you're afraid of something, honor that you're lonely and understand that, that in many ways go back to childhood about seeing, heard and understood. When you can see and hear and understand yourself, it's almost like you're

You're helping yourself do what you need. Like what you maybe, perhaps some of us did not get as a child. And most people don't know this, by the way. Meaning they don't know what they didn't get as a child and how it's impacting them today.

I actually want to, if I can chat there about it and open up, ⁓ I really think that the others might relate to my sort of story. But for me, I mean, I relate with so much that you're describing here, Pete. And in my childhood as a kid, ⁓ I had a father that was an alcoholic. We didn't know it at the time, but he was an alcoholic. ⁓

for whatever reason, everything that I did kind of wasn't really good enough. ⁓ And then I had a mom who was just kind of like the empathetic opposite to that, right? It was just so loving. And it was kind of this vicious circle between, you know, not quite being good enough and then being, you know, doing something and like, you know, hitting something out of the park ultimately. And that kind of spiraled me to, you know.

do Ironman multiple, become a professor, all these sorts of things, right? But it's like, I really relate to your inner critic. And I think my inner critic was developed in my childhood and it was very strong. ⁓ yeah, and it's hard to kind of ever turn that off. But the only time that I did is just to your point through meditation. ⁓ that was the biggest thing, through meditation, awareness of it. ⁓

Yeah, for me, I don't know if you know of Sam Harris, but that really helped me with just the Sam Harris Waking Up app, ultimately, just kind of looking back at these emotions and stuff and seeing the inner critic, and developing that. And it sounds a bit woo-woo, but that's really what I was able to do. I find it interesting, you've put your hand up a couple of times. And what I've seen is this tattoo on your...

in her hand and just out below your wrist that says, you know, ⁓ infinite love, right? And it's like, that's yeah, that's what I was. Yeah. I finally kind of was able to develop love for myself and my dad and for it to forgive him as well. Cause he, he had a, had his own demons that caused that. think we're all in this sort of cyclical, matrix ultimately, right at the end of the day. So, well, Hey man.

Prof, thanks for being vulnerable, you know, and sharing your story. And in many ways, the same, my dad was an alcoholic too. And although I felt loved by my dad, he was an alcoholic. But what's important to most people don't realize, let's just call it childhood trauma or childhood wounds. Everyone's like, well, I wasn't sexually assaulted. My dad didn't beat me. But often what people don't realize, it's not what happened to you. I'm stealing this from Gabbo Ramate, by the way.

It's not what happened to you. It's what didn't happen.

So you didn't get that love and acceptance from your father. And like you said, it drove you, right? And my best guess is, right, in some way, if I can just achieve X, Y, and Z.

My dad will see me. Right? I don't know. There's something probably like that. Totally. give you a hug, If you'd let me. Of course. Of course, buddy. That's exactly what I'm helping them realize is they don't realize why they're angry, why they're anxious, why they're sad, why they can't turn off multitasking, why they can't...

you know, connect with their wives, their kids, you know, stuff of that nature. And

If you can better understand Paul, I'm gonna close that with that question that you asked, like, like at the end of the day, this work, this emotional fitness work, if we can do a better job at and become fit and understand this.

The cascading effects guys are just amazing. When you become emotionally fit, right? So can manage your stress, let's call that, or manage your anxiety. You're going to sleep better. We all know the sleep data now. We know the sleep science. mean, I have whoop. I know if you guys got whoop or something similar. Like we already know sleep is the tool. So if you're not managing your stress, you're not sleeping good.

We know that's going to negatively impact your athletic performance, your cognitive performance during the day, your emotional ability, your emotional regulation. Sleep actually helps you emotionally regulate, which is again, it's so important, but we get stuck in this cycle. But also when you become emotionally fit, things aren't as stressful. So if you think about from physical fitness, right? I'm 180.

five pounds, trying to lose five, I lose five. I'm not a, obviously I'm not like a climber, but give me on a short punchy hill, right? I'm gonna kill it. I'm more of a sprinter. Maybe I'm a sprinter. Yeah, I'm a sprinter.

but I want to be able to get up that hill and recover, right? So can hang with the guys that are more like punctures or reclimbers. I want to be able to recover more quickly. So physical fitness, right? The cool thing about emotional fitness too, when you're able to have less sadness, less anger, less fear, less anxiety.

is that when like a, like a hill comes, a challenge, you're able to recover more quickly. So let me make this an example. Let me give an example. I have clients who told me, when I used to get an argument with my wife, it would take me days to repair, days to reconnect. Even a week, right? They have that resentment, shame.

fear, judgment, whatever it is. But when you start doing this work and you start realizing that I need connection and actually it's the most important thing I need for my happiness and for my wellbeing, the guys start realizing they need to work on whatever they need to work on inside so they can get back to a connection with their partners. And that's what emotional fitness helps you do. And why is this important, for example, for an athlete? Because think about it. I don't know about you guys, but when you're in disconnection with somebody you love, that shit's hard.

It's stressful. You don't even mean it's stressful, which in the way it gets in the way of you probably giving you your best performance as an athlete as well. And so I don't always talk about this stuff as a form and as athlete performance, but I hope it's making sense. Like, right. you, if you can basically better manage your own stress and have better relationships, I've done this, honestly, guys, I'm, I'm a stronger athlete.

Personally, I don't have a lot of guys. I don't have a lot of data that suggests like, I worked with this guy and now he's a better athlete. I do have guys who have lost weight, who have, ⁓ you know, stopped drinking as much, who are stronger on the bike, I guess, but that's really not my angle. My angle is personal wellbeing, less stress, better relationships. And as a byproduct of that, you become a better athlete. I agree. Totally. Yeah.

But push back, because I like this. ⁓ Just pause there for a sec, guys. ⁓ think, guys, we're coming up to the end of the hour here. ⁓ Is there anything key in terms of pillars that you think we need to say? I think we've touched on a lot of really important things. It's got a personal story in there, a lot of key concepts. Paul, from your standpoint, is there anything key that you think we're missing in this one for mental health pillar?

⁓ The one question about how can athletes balance ambition with their self acceptance? I'd you know, just to you know, that might be nice to get in. What do you think? Do we have time for that? Yeah, we do. Let's why don't we do and and sorry, and Pete from your perspective on the podcast as a whole, we touch the two.

think there's a couple. So yes, let's talk about like self-worth, self-acceptance as it relates to like athlete performance. But I also think we need to understand, I really at the end the day, I love helping parents be best versions of themselves. Like dads be the best dads. like that. I want to enter, I'm gonna probably put that all together. It could be just relationships too though. Okay. So Paul, can you ask a question that

allows Pete to wrap those concepts around. And following that, we'll close things down.

So Pete, a lot of times us as athletes tie our self-worth as humans, as parents, as athletes to our accomplishments. How can athletes balance all of that ambition ⁓ with self-acceptance? How can we create that balance for ourselves?

I don't know if anyone's figured that out yet, Paul, but I have some ideas. Okay, cool. I'm going to go back to this is that we're, we're talking a lot about, have this identification of being an athlete. I identify as an athlete, but at the end of the day, what supersedes all of that is that we're human. And every human wants to feel like they're enough. We want to belong. We want to feel that people like us.

Right? We don't want to be rejected. We want to be abandoned and all these things. Like these are really core fundamental needs of a human being. And if we, this is just one way to look at it. But if you are putting in many ways, if you're putting your, your worthiness on your performance, right? Let's just say athletic performance, it can serve as a really deep.

motivation and drive to do really well in that performance because basically your livelihood like in many ways it's almost like if you don't do that you might die and so that's why in many ways this could work it can work to to put yourself forth in a performance because it basically is going to allow you to live another day i'm speaking metaphorically but in many ways that's what you're doing on the inside you're telling yourself

If you don't win this race, you're not worthy.

And we as a human being subconsciously, is that that's that spiritual. It's like spiritual death. So we're going to try to do everything possible to stay alive. But I want you guys, I want everyone to look at it like this. Would you tell your child or somebody you love a best friend? You are not worthy. Unless you can achieve X. Would you tell your child that?

No, no. Why not? That's pretty harmful. Cruel. What do mean? Say more. Well, you're you're being the critic. Ultimately, you're being you don't even have to have the inner critic anymore. You're the external critic. So for a second, try not to analyze it. Why would you not do that to someone you love? Why would you do this? Somebody care about? Yeah, it hurts them. Yeah, it hurts. Yeah. And I meant.

And I'm empathetic. So, right, I'm just trying to get you guys and our listeners to start thinking about this. Like, whoa, it hurts. So what does hurt? It's pain. Technically, it's like a little wound, right? So you have to kind of think about it. You can get results this way. But if you're using this mechanism, let's call it that, right, it's a mechanism, let's just say.

I think back and again, I don't have this, but my best guess is like Lance and MJ and Michael Jordan. Like they, I best guess, right? They were probably using these types of things. But if you look at their life, like, right, they struggled in their relationships, not only with like their partners in life and their wives, but look at their teammates. Their teammates were like, ⁓ God, these guys are, yes, they helped us win. And.

They felt terrible. And so I look at it like this, Paul, you can go that route, but what's the consequence? What's the consequences of going that route? And if we know that happiness is love, meaning really what they found, this is a neuroscience and the longest study on human happiness is called the Harvard study on adult development.

The men that were the happiest in that study were the men that had the best relationships. And if we go back to happiness extends time to exhaustion, which helps with athletic performance, then we need to understand that relationships really are at the core of all human performance.

Does that include parent parental relationships as well as being a parent?

So in this study that was referencing the Harvard adult.

called the Harvard happiness study for the sake of I can't remember what's called. They found that it was partner, a wife relationship, relationship with children and relationship with people outside of work. Okay, friends. And we didn't even talk about this today. But you know, male loneliness and loneliness. You know, it kills, you know, it's probably one of the biggest

levers of stress that most men don't realize.

And so I look at it like to have balance. Can you?

Can you focus on your relationship with yourself, relationship with the ones you love? Will that give you more energy?

you have less stress, And more happiness. Can that give you more energy to perform at the highest level? You know what mean? And that's why I think of like Tade. I think of Tade Pogacar for not everyone probably knows who that is, but Tade Pogacar, without a doubt, the greatest cyclist in the last five years, in the professional peloton, won multiple Tour de France's. Or you look at a guy like Giannis.

Right? We're Wisconsin guys here. I don't know where your profile you're based out of. said Canada. BC. BC. I was just in Vancouver for my TEDx talk. Yeah, I saw that. That's awesome. And in late, cool city. look at, look at Giannis. He doesn't have as many championships as Michael Jordan. But in my opinion, I mean, would you rather have like Giannis' life or Michael Jordan's life?

I mean, I don't know, we don't know either of them, but my point of what I'm getting at is like, I think every human wants to be happy. And in many ways, I think athletes are trying to use their performance to be happy. Yeah. And I'm sorry guys, but that's.

It's not the wave. It's ⁓ fleeting.

And that's what my TEDx talk gets a little bit about, Prof, is like, right? That my argument, again, people have been talking about happiness and wellbeing for a long time, and I'm not like the wellbeing expert or anything of that nature, but what I can tell you my own life and the lives of my clients and a little bit of this research, there's something with inner self-acceptance and healthy relationships that is probably going to move the bar in happiness, which at the end of the day, we all care about helping other people.

feel like they can be themselves, right? Like don't we all want to like have an impact on people? You know, and I think at the end of the day, that's where, that's where we can go. That doesn't mean we don't want to strive. Like I want to, I want to win every sprint. I want to win every town line. Seriously, I'm not joking. I do. And I try and I pretty good at it. But me winning that town line or the whatever on that group ride.

has nothing to do with me as my worthiness as a human being. Zero. So Pete, if we get to this part of the podcast and you're sitting there and you're thinking, great, but I still feel like I need help. And the demons are in my head and things are not good mentally. What is your advice for that?

that individual. And we know there's lots out there. So where should they go to start to get help?

I mean, this they can do this on their own real quick. I mean, like literally ask yourself a question like, why do I do what I do?

You know, it could be alcohol. could be pushing really hard on a bike. It could be, why do I yell at my kids? You know, just journal, like write down the question. Why do I do what I do? And I would encourage people to bust out a feelings wheel. So we go to feelingswheel.com. by the way, people need to know that emotions drive behavior. didn't say that today, but emotions drive behavior. And so this is why emotions are really important because it's going to help you understand why you do what you do. And so I think.

getting curious first is the first step. Like getting curious with yourself. Be curious and empathetic with yourself. That's where I think the first step is like to start understanding yourself a little bit. like self-awareness. then I would say speak to somebody. In my opinion, ⁓ speak with someone. It could be a therapist or a coach, but I would encourage people to talk to people who are

see life through the lens of trauma, because they're going to understand the roots of childhood. Also, think someone who is trauma informed is really important. People who use attachment theory are good experts to speak with. There are other models, but those two I think are really important. And they're gonna help you understand some of your root level struggles. And if you can get to the root of anything, right? You can get to the root.

you can start changing the symptoms. In many ways, anxiety and sadness and anger are just symptoms. They're symptoms of something else that's going on. And so I would say, talk to somebody. ⁓ I mean, that's what I would say. That's great. Yeah. So Pete, if people want to, if they've liked what they've heard here and they want ⁓ to reach out and talk to you, where can they reach you?

Yeah, I have a website, peteinspires.com on my website. you want to watch my TEDx talk, you can watch that. That's on my website. You can email me if you want, peteinspires.gmail.com. I love just having conversations. In my business, I'm I'm technically a coach, so I'm not a therapist. I always have a free initial consultation that has no strings attached.

I don't, but literally I've met with people for one time and we, know, sometimes we work together. Sometimes you don't. Identity, would be the first step is to reach out to me and set up a time to either email me some questions or set up a time that we can talk. That was, that was amazing. Thank you, Pete. We will put his website in the show notes. Hopefully we can also get the Ted talk into the show notes so people can watch that as well.

Thank you for listening today to the Athletes Compass podcast. Take a moment now, subscribe, share, and let's keep navigating this endurance adventure together. Improve your training with the science-based training platform, Athletica, and join the conversation at the Athletica Forum. For Pete Armstrong and Dr. Paul Larson, I'm Paul Warlowski, and this has been the Athletes Compass podcast. Thank you so much for listening.